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Well. where do I start with this weeks report ? Challenged by "Sir" Alan Dent to report upon his victory tonight over our own "Georgeous" George Jennings, Alan would have had his wish had it not been for Stevie Burton notching his first victory of the season against the crestfallen Steve Sivier. More about that later as I'd hate to take all of the glory from the lads who combined to take a terrific double victory, or a hat-trick if you count the number of hot-dogs consumed by Tommy Cummings who would have won that battle all by himself guzzling the equivalent of an Aldi shopping trolley full of Westlers. And a tatie field full of onions. Most of the credit has to go to the dominoes team as they launched a salvo against the Navy Club's domino defences, breaching them 4 times with only Bobby Balls being lost in action. No great surprises there though and Bobby later emerged around the hot dog table, wounded in action but rejuvenating himself with a couple of baps of his own.
Right, enough of the Stuart Hall style piffle and straight to the heart of the action - the Vic were left skipperless by the late withdrawal of Captain Cooke for the trip down to the seaside so Craig Greenfield packed his bucket, spade and 17 pasties and joined us as we made the trip along the East Coast to meet the Navy Club, who were floundering in the darts but steaming along in the doms.
The darts lined up as last week with the only change being Greenfield (C) replacing Captain Martyn Cooke as Nonka elected to rest himself for the second week running thereby giving stand-in captain Kell a relatively easy choice. Dale Greenfield also made the journey more in hope of cheap lager with alcohol in it rather than paying the same price for the Kaliber-version served up in the Vic (allegedly
)
The dominoes team remained unchanged lining up with Ian Graham, Les Graham, Tucker Muncaster, the unbeatable Norman McKenna and the easily beatable Bobby Balls.
Steve Kell got the darts underway against K Kennedy in the first leg. Kennedy hit 81 with his opening throw in reply to Steve's 45 and it proved to be the start of a fairly dour leg of darts. Kennedy hit another score of 80+ but mixed this with a number of low scores which allowed Kell to get a grip on the match. Kennedy, sporting a beautifully trimmed grey goatie for the Navy Club, may have won the battle of chin beards but Steve produced a shot that Lee Harvey Oswald would have been proud of as he pierced Kennedy's resistance with a bolt into double top. 1-0 to the Vic.
The second leg saw Kevin Cunningham up against G Thompson and both players threw a mixed bag of darts. Thompson, with a languid style of throw, and one for the purists, started off okay as Kev struggled to get a foothold. Kev hit back witha few steady 60s as Thompson went all over the board, including a few throws into the 4's and his game generally deserted him. Kev kept up the pressure and eventually took out his double, although I have to admit to not knowing which double he hit as I was in the toilets at the time. Standing up
Geordie Jennings was up next and played "Sir" Alan Dent, a tricky left armer, who had performed well against the Vic in our previous battles. This game was to be no exception as the self appointed "Sir" turned George into his "Dame" for the evening with a couple of 80+ scores in the opening throws. George stuck in and tried his best to conquer his opponent but Alan made it a "Knight" to remember as he took the crown from the vanquished marauder with an arrow into double 8. Gadzooks
After the disappointment of watching George get flayed, Stevie Burton took to the stage, with a run of defeats stretching back to 11 consecutive matches and having been ridiciculed throughout the evening following an unfortunate incident at the footy the previous Saturday. Stevie faced Steve Sivier, who had, on paper, the relatively simple task of stretching Burtons barren run to 12 games but Burton, fuelled up on Christmas Pudding and Custard as his pre-match meal, was up for the challenge. Sivier got away with a fortuitous treble 18 but Stevie responded with a 79 of his own. Both players threw similar scores all the ay down but Burton stole the darts with some steadier scoring and almost took the leg with a 96 finish, Sivier was still behind when Burton next went back to the oche and after a dart outside, then inside 18, finally broke his duck by hitting the dead centre of double 9 to give the Vic a 3-1 lead. Pudding Power
Craig Greenfield played the next leg out of sequence as the 5th leg player for the Navy Club was playing dominoes, and took on Alan Weir Jr. Weir got off to the better start but Craig responded well with a ton and a couple of 60s. Weir suffered the pain of hitting back to back 9s, prompting Gerdie Jennings to shout that if he hit a 3rd nine in a row the coppers would turn up. Pure Geordie Gold
. Craig kept going, knowing that the match hadn't been won yet and put on a dour expression as he concentrated on his game. Some would argue that this is his only expression, yet he held firm to take the leg and the tie for the Vic in clinical style.
At 4-1 up, Tommy Cummings played Frankie Lane and Tommy was on fire as he hit a ton plus numerous 60s to surge ahead. SUffice to say that Tommy tanned Frankies "Rawhide" throughout the contest before Tommy ended up hitting touble 16 to give the Vic another leg.
Iggy played Neil Rooney in the final leg and whilst both players threw from the 7 foot 6 line, in fairness both bellies were only around 4 foot 3 inches from the board
Rooney, who had earlier done a great job in marking the earlier games, crept ahead of Iggy before Ian powered in a ton plus score to leave him down to a finish. However, when Ian isn't under pressure the doubles always seem to be more difficult to hit and he allowed Rooney to get back into the contest with a number of missed doubles. In fairness, both players never looked liked they wanted to get the game over but as soon as the waft of hot dogs hit the air, Rooney took out double 8 to take on Ten Ton Tommy Cummings in the next battle of the night - the hot dog gorge.
Stevie Kell tried in vain to make a name for himself in the hot dog munching stakes but his pitiful attempt saw him just about manage to achieve the indignity of eating half of his own body weight - roughly equivalent to one hot dog with an extra splodge of ketchup with nee onions.
The doms went the way of the Vic and the skipper, Les Graham returned to winning ways with a victory over A Weir Sr in the opening leg. Tucker Muncaster made it back to back successes as he defeated G Thompson in the 2nd leg, leaving it up to the weekly winner Norman McKenna to secure the victory over a side riding high in the table. I actually overheard the end of the Nonks game, on my return from the toilet (still clean ), whereby both players were knocking - Normans words were "well I've got millions". His shellshocked opponent then announced "well I've got zillions then" A quality moment and proof that if you get to the bog on time you hear some great crack.
Bobby Balls got washed away 3-0 in the 4th game to give Rooney a double on the evening so well done Neil, but without taking owt away from you, Ballsy is our most defeated player in the history of the club. Iggy took out Frankie Lane in the final leg to take a massive win for the Vic and end a couple of consecutive defeats for Ian.
Well done everyone who played tonight and thanks to Alan Dent for letting me know that people actually read the reports I post. And so far I've avoided a good hiding so at least you all know everything I mention is meant in jest. Apart from what I say about Ballsy
Next week is at home to Seaham Park Cricket Club which is always great crack and, Easyjet permitting, I should get back from my weekend in Barcelona in time to turn out for it.
_________________
And if you're gonna flash.......FLASH HARD !!!!!
Right, enough of the Stuart Hall style piffle and straight to the heart of the action - the Vic were left skipperless by the late withdrawal of Captain Cooke for the trip down to the seaside so Craig Greenfield packed his bucket, spade and 17 pasties and joined us as we made the trip along the East Coast to meet the Navy Club, who were floundering in the darts but steaming along in the doms.
The darts lined up as last week with the only change being Greenfield (C) replacing Captain Martyn Cooke as Nonka elected to rest himself for the second week running thereby giving stand-in captain Kell a relatively easy choice. Dale Greenfield also made the journey more in hope of cheap lager with alcohol in it rather than paying the same price for the Kaliber-version served up in the Vic (allegedly
)
The dominoes team remained unchanged lining up with Ian Graham, Les Graham, Tucker Muncaster, the unbeatable Norman McKenna and the easily beatable Bobby Balls.
Steve Kell got the darts underway against K Kennedy in the first leg. Kennedy hit 81 with his opening throw in reply to Steve's 45 and it proved to be the start of a fairly dour leg of darts. Kennedy hit another score of 80+ but mixed this with a number of low scores which allowed Kell to get a grip on the match. Kennedy, sporting a beautifully trimmed grey goatie for the Navy Club, may have won the battle of chin beards but Steve produced a shot that Lee Harvey Oswald would have been proud of as he pierced Kennedy's resistance with a bolt into double top. 1-0 to the Vic.
The second leg saw Kevin Cunningham up against G Thompson and both players threw a mixed bag of darts. Thompson, with a languid style of throw, and one for the purists, started off okay as Kev struggled to get a foothold. Kev hit back witha few steady 60s as Thompson went all over the board, including a few throws into the 4's and his game generally deserted him. Kev kept up the pressure and eventually took out his double, although I have to admit to not knowing which double he hit as I was in the toilets at the time. Standing up
Geordie Jennings was up next and played "Sir" Alan Dent, a tricky left armer, who had performed well against the Vic in our previous battles. This game was to be no exception as the self appointed "Sir" turned George into his "Dame" for the evening with a couple of 80+ scores in the opening throws. George stuck in and tried his best to conquer his opponent but Alan made it a "Knight" to remember as he took the crown from the vanquished marauder with an arrow into double 8. Gadzooks
After the disappointment of watching George get flayed, Stevie Burton took to the stage, with a run of defeats stretching back to 11 consecutive matches and having been ridiciculed throughout the evening following an unfortunate incident at the footy the previous Saturday. Stevie faced Steve Sivier, who had, on paper, the relatively simple task of stretching Burtons barren run to 12 games but Burton, fuelled up on Christmas Pudding and Custard as his pre-match meal, was up for the challenge. Sivier got away with a fortuitous treble 18 but Stevie responded with a 79 of his own. Both players threw similar scores all the ay down but Burton stole the darts with some steadier scoring and almost took the leg with a 96 finish, Sivier was still behind when Burton next went back to the oche and after a dart outside, then inside 18, finally broke his duck by hitting the dead centre of double 9 to give the Vic a 3-1 lead. Pudding Power
Craig Greenfield played the next leg out of sequence as the 5th leg player for the Navy Club was playing dominoes, and took on Alan Weir Jr. Weir got off to the better start but Craig responded well with a ton and a couple of 60s. Weir suffered the pain of hitting back to back 9s, prompting Gerdie Jennings to shout that if he hit a 3rd nine in a row the coppers would turn up. Pure Geordie Gold
. Craig kept going, knowing that the match hadn't been won yet and put on a dour expression as he concentrated on his game. Some would argue that this is his only expression, yet he held firm to take the leg and the tie for the Vic in clinical style.
At 4-1 up, Tommy Cummings played Frankie Lane and Tommy was on fire as he hit a ton plus numerous 60s to surge ahead. SUffice to say that Tommy tanned Frankies "Rawhide" throughout the contest before Tommy ended up hitting touble 16 to give the Vic another leg.
Iggy played Neil Rooney in the final leg and whilst both players threw from the 7 foot 6 line, in fairness both bellies were only around 4 foot 3 inches from the board
Rooney, who had earlier done a great job in marking the earlier games, crept ahead of Iggy before Ian powered in a ton plus score to leave him down to a finish. However, when Ian isn't under pressure the doubles always seem to be more difficult to hit and he allowed Rooney to get back into the contest with a number of missed doubles. In fairness, both players never looked liked they wanted to get the game over but as soon as the waft of hot dogs hit the air, Rooney took out double 8 to take on Ten Ton Tommy Cummings in the next battle of the night - the hot dog gorge.
Stevie Kell tried in vain to make a name for himself in the hot dog munching stakes but his pitiful attempt saw him just about manage to achieve the indignity of eating half of his own body weight - roughly equivalent to one hot dog with an extra splodge of ketchup with nee onions.
The doms went the way of the Vic and the skipper, Les Graham returned to winning ways with a victory over A Weir Sr in the opening leg. Tucker Muncaster made it back to back successes as he defeated G Thompson in the 2nd leg, leaving it up to the weekly winner Norman McKenna to secure the victory over a side riding high in the table. I actually overheard the end of the Nonks game, on my return from the toilet (still clean
), whereby both players were knocking - Normans words were "well I've got millions". His shellshocked opponent then announced "well I've got zillions then" A quality moment and proof that if you get to the bog on time you hear some great crack.
Bobby Balls got washed away 3-0 in the 4th game to give Rooney a double on the evening so well done Neil, but without taking owt away from you, Ballsy is our most defeated player in the history of the club. Iggy took out Frankie Lane in the final leg to take a massive win for the Vic and end a couple of consecutive defeats for Ian.
Well done everyone who played tonight and thanks to Alan Dent for letting me know that people actually read the reports I post. And so far I've avoided a good hiding so at least you all know everything I mention is meant in jest. Apart from what I say about Ballsy
Next week is at home to Seaham Park Cricket Club which is always great crack and, Easyjet permitting, I should get back from my weekend in Barcelona in time to turn out for it.
_________________
And if you're gonna flash.......FLASH HARD !!!!!
